RAIBAR AND RAIBARIJ
Marriage is such a thing in the society which has no direct
approach, though every parent from his very core of the heart wants his son or
daughter to be married sooner or later. So, a medium is required through which
one can convey his opinion openly. In santal society ‘Raibar is such medium and
one who practice raibar is known as 'Raibarij'. The word Raibarij means a
person who can balance the opinion of both the sides . Some times Raibarij is
called as Dahar Dhulire Dhonga Laraoij i.e a man who can sail the boat in the
dust. So 'Raibarij is a very capable man who can motivate both the parties in
such a way that the settlement of marriage becomes easier and successful.
First step of marriage is to select the suitable and
efficient man as raibarij. Any parent who want a good girl for his son ,
express this feeling in front of Raibarij and Raibarij finds the girl of their
choice from paata, weekly haat,festive occasion,community dance or through
other reliable sources. If the girl is up to their choice, Raibarij with prior
intimation to girl’s parent visit with the parents of the boy and their near
relatives go with the Raibarij to see the girl. If their choice coincides with
that of boy , they convey the message of their choice to girl's parent as well
as the Majhi, the village head of that village. Once the village head comes to
know that some negotiation is under progress for a particular girl, he never
allows others to negotiate for the same girl unless and until the previous one
is cancelled. This is called as Baha Chiya i.e. Finding Bride.