Raibar : The Most Important One in Santhal Marriage


RAIBAR AND RAIBARIJ
Marriage is such a thing in the society which has no direct approach, though every parent from his very core of the heart wants his son or daughter to be married sooner or later. So, a medium is required through which one can convey his opinion openly. In santal society ‘Raibar is such medium and one who practice raibar is known as 'Raibarij'. The word Raibarij means a person who can balance the opinion of both the sides . Some times Raibarij is called as Dahar Dhulire Dhonga Laraoij i.e a man who can sail the boat in the dust. So 'Raibarij is a very capable man who can motivate both the parties in such a way that the settlement of marriage becomes easier and successful.
First step of marriage is to select the suitable and efficient man as raibarij. Any parent who want a good girl for his son , express this feeling in front of Raibarij and Raibarij finds the girl of their choice from paata, weekly haat,festive occasion,community dance or through other reliable sources. If the girl is up to their choice, Raibarij with prior intimation to girl’s parent visit with the parents of the boy and their near relatives go with the Raibarij to see the girl. If their choice coincides with that of boy , they convey the message of their choice to girl's parent as well as the Majhi, the village head of that village. Once the village head comes to know that some negotiation is under progress for a particular girl, he never allows others to negotiate for the same girl unless and until the previous one is cancelled. This is called as Baha Chiya i.e. Finding Bride.



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