“Bity em Beta Nam” is a very
old proverb in the santal society which means if you give daughter you
will get son” or in the other sense if you have daughter you have son. So,
difference is not so much in between boy and girl in the Santals society. No
Santal become so much unhappy having daughter only because he may get easily a
young and handsome boy as Gardi jawain for his daughter. The word ghar means
distress, Gardi jawain means Ghar din lagit jawain. i.e. jawain for distress
day.
This is also a negotiable marriage. The difference of
marriage with that of other negotiable marriage is that the negotiation starts
from bride side. The Raibarij guides the parents of bridegroom to brides house
for Arah duarnel . i.e. to see the landed property and judge the Ere. If both
the things are satisfactory, the marriage is settle. On the fixed day bariyats
from bride’s house go directly to the bride’s groom’s house and bring the bride
groom. The Sindurdan ceremony is held in bride’s house. The bride groom smears
the Sindur on forehead of bride. No bride price is required, rather some amount
of money are given to the bridegroom’s parent as compensation. All the
expenditure of the marriage is borne by
the brides parents.
After the marriage, the boy stays in girl’s house. He, then
assits his father in law in all sorts of works includeing cultivation, In case
the father in law is too old to work, he himself does all the work. He takes
all kinds of responsibilities regarding the management of the house and ultimately becomes the sole custodian of
the family like that of a son. Only one social bar is imposed on him is that he
can not perform the last rite of his father and mother in law after their death
as the belongs to separate claim or sept. So, the last rite is performed by
their agnets and for that some amount of land is to be given to them before the
gardi jawain enters in to the house. This provision is nothing but a
arrangement for cordial living of new comer with the surrounding i.e agnets.